Existential Angst

My blog is to honor my father and children that have passed away as I search for meaning in their loss.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

I'm on to Something

I’ve been trying to get in touch with what I’ve been calling the Dreaming Mind. I’ve never felt more creative, moody and emotional. My dreams have been very vivid. Last night, I woke up several times after a dream that was so powerful that my waking mind couldn’t tell where I was or When I was.

One dream that was particularly powerful was in the future and I was contemplating what I was going to do for my 25 wedding anniversary. It was a sunny day, I felt well and I was where I thought was home with people I liked. The problem was that I don’t think I was me. If my dad’s dreams before he died has thought me anything is that dreams are not limited to the Self (see previous posts). When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was or when it was. This happened several more times that night.

I don’t know exactly what this means but I’m taking it as that I’m getting closer to something. The Dreaming Mind is very powerful influence over my consciousness. I’m communing with it by imagining that there is a dreamer of the dream in my head. I see this dreamer like a silent DJ of knowledge, he plays a dream to speak to me. He plays the emotion that I need to know what he feels. I’m finding that I’m moving through life’s little problems with a bit more ease. I’ll keep you posted on where this goes.


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